Zoe reviews Baby Steps
“This is why your dad hates you Nate,” I whisper through gritted teeth as this grown man in onesie pajamas helplessly lies there as he slides down a pile of mud — again. He refuses to use his hands, or dig his feet in, or (god forbid) ask for some damn help. This is the struggle of Baby Steps, the newest game from Gabe Cuzzillo, Maxi Boch, and Bennett Foddy (QWOP, Getting Over It).
Meet Nate: he lives in his parents basement, surviving on pizza and (surely) Mountain Dew until a seemingly random blip puts him…well I'm not exactly sure where. I’m guessing this is a case of Jumanji where being Jumanji’d means you go into Jumanji instead of the Jumanji where Jumanji comes out.
I hypothetically could know what’s going on because as soon as Nate arrives, he meets Jim. Jim is Australian, but I'm not prejudiced so that’s fine, and he starts to explain what Nate is doing and even suggests getting some gear for his task. But before he can get through one sentence, Nate cuts him off, saying he gets it (he doesn't), he doesn’t need gear (he does), and that he has to pee (this one is heartbreakingly true).
Then we are left all on our own, armed with no information and three buttons: right foot, left foot, forward. So we walked. And then we fall. And we get back up. And we fall. And then we slide. And we get back up and oh my god just lift your leg a little higher you lazy fuck and we could get up this step. It’s not hard! Do you think Matt is struggling with this, with his grappling hook and his defined chin? Maybe if you didn’t keep rejecting Jim every time he tried to help, then you’d have a defined chin and you wouldn’t LIVE IN YOUR PARENTS BASEMENT NATHANIEL.
…Sometimes when you play a game, even if the character has a name you’ll refer to the character as “me” or “you”. Usually this is purposeful as the character has such a bland personality that it allows the player to pour themselves into the character.
I was never released from the entity known as Nate. His presence permeates the game as I can only imagine his body odor also does in his sweat covered onesie. He constantly gets in his own way and refuses to accept help freely given or ask for any guidance. And with every slip, with every stupid thing he says, with every step that should be easy but is instead hard simply because of the fact that it’s Nate — the more I hated him.
It was on my hundredth clenched whisper of “get up you fuck” that it hit me. I was Nate the whole time.
Nate is a huge loser. But he knows he is a loser. Every awful thought I have about him is also his own internal monologue. I can hear it in his groans and quiet curses to himself when he falls. He isn’t refusing help because of some sense of overinflated ego. Nate is so terrified of being harassed by any member of this endeavor that he will do anything to prevent giving them any ammunition to mock him, even if that means more intense suffering for himself. Nate does not even get the luxury of stopping, he must continue, for him there is not even the sweet release of death (believe me, I have tried).
If we are to be honest, Nate is being put in many terrible situations. He didn’t ask to be here, he’s in the mountains against his will, surrounded by people who are more practiced at this than him, more athletic than him, people who are better prepared and all around better than him. Nate has failed before the race (is that what this is?) has even started. He doesn’t know where his life is going, he doesn’t know what path to follow. His parents think that he is a failure so what are we even going back to? Is there a point or a merit to returning home? I don’t believe Nate walks to return or for the accomplishment of achieving the walk. All the man wants is to pee in privacy.
Nate’s apprehension is understandable, but ultimately misguided. Despite how often we think the opposite, we aren’t being constantly perceived and judged. The world is not inherently against us, and we should be kinder to ourselves because this is all of our first time climbing the mountain range…FUCK he just slid again. Nevermind. Fuck this guy, I’m throwing him off the next cliff I can find.
Baby Steps is available on PC and PlayStation 5.